I have an entirely different view of existence. I have a freer more open view. i am considerably laid back. I have come to accept things about life that few people at my age realize and frankly, do not accept nor realize until much, much later in life.

My first true acceptance was there is nothing we can do about time. I stopped paying attention to my age a little over 20+ years ago. It is something we will not change, therefore there is no point in worrying about. It is going to happen whether we want it to or not. So other than the clocks around the house and the one in my truck, I do not carry a time piece, I just make sure I am not late for things. Other than that, as Einstein put it, time is relative.

My next acceptance was death. Not because I was face to face with it, or significant members in my life had died, but that there was nothing we were going to do was going to stop it. Frankly, the world looks at it the wrong way. We are all born with a fatal disease, one there is no cure from, life. If you are born, you die. It's the in between parts that are important. Not the first instance and not the last, but the middle. Once we all accept we die and give over to the acceptance, then a lot of general stress in the world will be gone. It is not about what religion you believe in, it is about beginnings and endings that they all need to see. And the next important part of death that no one truly sees, is that we do have a choice on how we go. it is one of the few important rights we have. I do not support suicide, I think it is a waste of existence, but it is my opinion only and no on has to take my opinion as fact.

My final, or it may have been ingrained into my psyche since time became time, acceptance is that humor is the cornerstone of happiness and that it is truly ingrained in sadistic and masochistic behavior. When we watch a comedy or something funny, is it not true that the one we are laughing at is the guy getting picked on by the other guy. A prime example: The Three Stooges. All were sadists and all were masochists, but none were constantly dominant or submissive. If Moe picked on Larry, Curly, Shemp, or Joe, did they not find some way to get back at him? All were both dominant and submissive. When you go to the zoo and go to the monkey cage, who do you laugh at? The big monkey doing the picking on, or the little one being picked on?

Open your mind and let the new experiences flow in, let acceptance take control for a while, the real world is a harsh place and I personally do not like to be there for long, probably why I embrace fiction so strongly. It's the escapism in me. But small controlled bursts of reality can go a log way, if picked apart and studied at your own leisure. And as I think, constantly, I have long periods of relative time to reflect on what is, what was, what never was nor will be, what will be again someday, and what is gone forever.

I seek my own enlightenment, in everyday things. And sometimes I have an epiphany and find it, and sometimes it takes years to crack, but we all have time. And time to accept who we are and what we do. Life to do it in, and humor to keep us in a relative form of sanity along the way. I know who I am and I am no longer afraid of the acknowledgment of it. I am me. Do you truly know who you are?

You see we all are ingrained with sadistic and masochistic behavior and dominance and submissive mindsets as well, you just do not apply them to reality like I do. In some, these qualities are more apparent than others and society looks at it as bad. What is bad about it, as long as who you are doing it to or who it is being done to wants it to happen?

So yes, I am a Sadist and a Masochist. I like bringing harm to others. I also like some harm that comes to me. But, I do not physically torture others in the den and I do not cut myself with knives or burn my flesh for pleasure. These aren't my thing.

A soft caress against the skin, in a brief passing, can make my spine quiver with pleasure and the true torture is not having it continue. In that brief instant, I was a masochist to another sadist. I was submissive to the dominance of the need for the pleasure to continue. I was both masochistic and sadistic and dominant and submissive. Do you see? It is not bad to be all of the above.

Since I read a lot, and a lot doesn't begin to truly describe it, I find words an aphrodisiac. The sounds they make, as they drip off the tongue. The caress of words against my mind. The images that they produce in my psyche. Torture in its purest form. To see texting and hearing the obliteration of the King's English, makes me cringe with extreme displeasure. Words are beauty, in all scopes and mindsets. They free your soul from this humdrum existence and let it fly upon the wings of eagles. I seek a good conversationalist, who knows the true power of words. For I truly am a masochist, in a world of sadists, torturing me with every garbled syllable, every blasphemy of text, every word of slang. My mind weeps for the purity of words, some so simple, some distinct, and some so utterly mind blowing that words themselves cannot truly describe them.